Crispy fried Jill anyone???

Another week has passed, and I'm 10 treatments in.  Monday was by far the best radiation ever!  Yes, I did say that.  Nothing like having a fabulous lunch with friends while the sun shined, and the temperatures soared.  It felt like a pre-curser to my upcoming girls' celebratory trip to South Beach.  I'm not sure if the radiation tech's are used to cancer patients coming in a bit tipsy, but I made sure they will have experienced this before the end of their career.  That was as fun as radiation can get!

Tuesday was an especially crazy day since I had a Muga scan scheduled in the afternoon at the Vic, followed by radiation at HSC.  The Muga scan took longer than expected, in part due to the fact they did not document anywhere in my chart that I needed an ultra tag.  (you may recall in a previous blog how they need to premix my blood with the radioactive material in order to get a clearer image of my heart).  I have not only had a Muga at St. B., but the Vic as well, so I'm not sure why this information was missed in my chart.  If I had not brought this to their attention before they were about to draw my blood, it would not have been performed correctly, and it would have needed to be repeated again on another day.  But, I did remember, so it all worked out.  Only this made me late for my radiation, which in turn made me late for my appointment with Dr. J., my radiation oncologist.

It turned out that I was ill-prepared for my appointment with Dr. J.  I figured he was just going to see how the radiation was going, and if I was having any severe side effects.  It turned out that the main purpose of this visit was to discuss Tamoxifen.  Dr. J. would like me to start on Tamoxifen, (an estrogen receptor blocker), as soon as I give the green light.  I've been extremely reluctant to date in wanting to take it, and figured I had more time deliberate.  I was hoping that the statistics would work more in favour of NOT needing to take it, since it is every day for 5 years, and I am unwilling to experience the side effects associated with it for that long.  Namely the possibility of prolonged hot flashes and night sweats.  I can't imagine having these for five years, then stopping Tamoxifen only to start the real menopause years later.  Will I experience these symptoms for the rest of my life?!  God help me!  The statistics did not work in my favour.  The words "aggressive tumour" were repeated to drive home how strongly they suggest that I take it, that Tamoxifen will further reduce my chance of re-occurence by 18%.  A number that is difficult to ignore.  If I didn't have children, I would likely take the chance, and not take it.  But because I do, I feel I cannot be selfish, and possibly deny them their mom in the future.  The physician could have stopped here, but he didn't.  I was further informed that the current data supports 5 years of treatment as beneficial, however there are still studies underway that will likely support 10+ years of treatment by the time I have been taking it for 5 years.  More to look forward to, (said with a lot of sarcasm...).  I am finding some decisions along this journey are extremely difficult to make.  It would be nice to have a crystal ball to see if I am one of the ones it will make a difference for or not.

That was Tuesday.  Up there with one of my least favourable days since the beginning of this journey.

The rest of the week went by without any further hiccups...

I was starting to feel a little crispy towards the end of the week, like I had a slight sunburn, and my skin was turning a little pink.  Just having yesterday and today off has made a difference though, and my skin is feeling and looking a bit better.  Having said that, I'm breaking out in a bit of a bumpy rash.  I'm not sure yet if it's from the cream I'm slathering on the area, blocking my pores, or from the radiation itself.  I have other cream I'm expecting to try, so I'll see how that goes.

I'm feeling pretty good overall, and have enjoyed the time I've spent with my Angels this week.  Thanks so much for the distraction.  Mia, Marnie, Jennith, Nancy, Angie & Lisa, you are such beautiful distractions, thank you!  And thank you to those who have provided care for K & K while I attend my treatments, you are all so sweet!  And thanks to those who have filled up my radiation calendar.  I'm officially covered for all my future appointments.  You have no idea how much it means to me to have you all accompany me, it makes all the difference in the world to have you take me.

I am thankful this will be a short week, and that my body (and mind), will get a break with a 4 day weekend.  I do not have radiation Good Friday, or Easter Monday, phew.  In addition to radiation, I have some blood work and a follow up Dr. appt. to read the results from my Muga.  This will be my first blood test performed post-chemo etc., hoping the results are normal, which I know they will be, not really concerned.

Jill xo