I Know....

I know, It's been awhile....I've been keeping very busy, and when I actually slow down, I fall down in complete exhaustion. I'm so far behind on TV shows...everything pretty much PVR'd since before my first chemo. After my first chemo treatment, I was able to resume a relatively "normal" existence, going to the gym, visiting with friends, running errands, planning get togethers, trips. But after dusk, I find that I'm completely spent of energy. Thus, I haven't had the energy to write in my blog, catch up on shows, or read...(which I'm really focusing on for next book club, determined to finally have a book read.)

For the first time following my first chemo, I was pretty run down last weekend. (Could it have been in relation to all the xmas shopping I did in Grand Forks & Fargo Thurs & Fri?). I went in on Monday for my pre-chemo bloodwork, and the preliminary results showed that my white blood cell count was very low, and that chemo was going to possibly be postponed until they improved. I was also informed that I'm slightly anemic. I was told to go home, they would do more sensitive testing (under the microscope), and let me know what he final count was in an hour. I waited somewhat impatiently for the results since postponing is not ideal. When the final results were in, my count came back slightly higher than what is acceptable, therefore we were a go for Tuesday. Having said that, because my wbc is already precariously low, and will only get lower with subsequent treatments (the effect is cummulative), they want to start me on another drug, Neupogen. This drug is given post each chemo, a daily injection in the abdomen for 5 days. Not for the faint at heart since ideally you or someone you live with will inject it for you. Nor Glen or myself can even look at needles, so thankfully my friend Shannon has kindly offered to do this for me. Thank you so much Shannon! I will begin these injections this Friday.

The chemo session went well yesterday, longer than the last one, lasted 4 hours. They were extremely busy. It enabled me to have a great visit though, with some dear friends. Lots of laughs, thanks for that! I managed to have enough energy for lunch, a shopping trip to Costco, but then I crashed when I got home. Hence no blog update... I sequestered myself in my room from 6 p.m. onwards, and Glen took care of the kids. I read, (yay!), and took a sleepy happy pill at 9 p.m., and another at 2 a.m., and I managed to have a good nights rest, without wetting my bed :)

I had another busy day today, support group meeting, lunch, Costco (again...), Zellers, Toys R Us, Cornelia Bean, Toto & Dot, SDM, Wal-Mart, Safeway, and home....tired.... is it bedtime yet?
Crazy, I know. I try to go with it when I feel the energy though, then, I crash. Somebody has to do it though, otherwise xmas won't come. I am a little paranoid right now about going places, shopping during peak time since my wbc is so low, so I'm trying to shop during the mid-afternoon/weekdays, and will avoid the gym for the next few days until the Neupogen at least kicks in. I do wonder if I'm overdoing it, and wonder if I'm playing a bit of russian roulette since I just can't get sick. I just don't know how to tell myself to slow down, stop, rest.

No more false promises that I will update this blog more...I've learned that I can't do that. I will get to it when I get to it.

Thanks for your understanding!
Love Jill xo